Dirty Sanchez strikes back!

Well.
Lots of words on my brain. Perhaps I'll say some?
[Sidenote!
I only want to say this once.
I'm dating a wonderful, gender queer person. Have serious, very deep feelings for this person and he will be refered to in the masculine sense in blogs forthcoming. I am not a lesbian, I am not pansexual, I am queer. For the record, I do not date heterosexual, biological men. Now that we've gotten that out of the way...]

I'm slowly but surely coming out into the world of kink. I feel like I've been restricted so long, that it's been a taboo topic not just in relationship. It's actually much harder then when I came out as a "lesbian" (a term which I have since chuckled at and disgarded).
My high school wasn't condusive to LGBT life but it was accepting enough. College is at a slightly conservative school, but the with the occasional participation in a GSA and friends back home, I made it through with only the occasional glare or drunken comment from a frat boy. The lack of black, young kinksters in my area is frustrating&&of course it makes dating outside of the vanilla world next to impossible. The number of people that understand, or rather, accept my sexuality is even smaller. Throw in that I'm into "that S&M shit," and I might as well be on Ripley's Believe It or Not.

Enter K.
Young, black, attractive, motivated, gender queer.
Domme. And not in the butch sense.
We've known each other for close to a year. Never thought about him as a romantic partner. Just the occasional hey, how are you and IM conversation... a career change led us to a few phone conversations. About three months after that, everything fell into place and now?

here I am.
Balancing on the brink of taking the next step into the lifestyle and becoming a sub.
I told one of the very few Dominas I knew in real life that I was considering it and she just laughed at me. Told me it'd be hell for me to leave my headstrong ways at the door and become a sub in the bedroom, but that she knows that hard headedness could translate into determination. She may be right. But I'm damn sure willing to try.

I had a conversation with K last night about why I had been harboring darker fantasies for years and had never had the nerve to act them out. My answer was basically that I never thought that my day job as a liberal hardcore feminist/student/budding activist/all around aggressive, feminine woman of color is in no way, shape or form condusive to a lifestyle where someone else calls the shots in and out of the household, right?

Strangely, it's wrong. As aggresive as I am and have been in and out of the bedroom, I love it. I love having someone in control of me and I love pain. The latter of the two is a different blog for a different time, however.

If you'd excuse me, I'm off to e-browse apartments in ATL.
Peace&&Love, all.