Rules and BDSM vs. Abuse.

“The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.”

Today I was given a formal outline of my training.
rules, etiquette, expectations, "corrections," and rewards. There are other, more detailed sections, of course.
I'm officially in training.

As nervous as I am, I'm completely happy. Then today, my ex asked me why I'd do this to myself, why I'm so aggressive and "all of the sudden" want to be abused and bossed around by someone.

BDSM has never been about abuse. The motto of bdsm is Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
I believe that my desire to be involved in BDSM (BD-Bondage&Domination, DS-Domination&Submission, and SM-Sadomasochism)is as strong as my attraction to the same sex and gender queered. I'm not looking for a douchebag to boss me around. I was reading a website earlier that said it best. It went kind of like this...

Any good Dominant isn't just a walking douchebag barking orders with no concern to a submissive's safety or hard limits (or things someone will absolutely not do). Good Dommes are less likely to be jerks because they have to be in-tune with their submissive. Douchebags generally make selfish decisions with little regard to those around them while BDSM normally keeps a focus on the submissive. They have a safeword that can be used to halt or slow down a scene. They lay down hard limits that can not be broken. They discuss before playing what and where it's acceptable to have sex. BDSM can be a very caring relationship. As my D said, in my list of rules,
"I expect that you won’t fight me for control and that’ll you’ll be able to relax with me and let Daddy take you to your peak. I plan on making you feel more loved, needed, wanted, desired, cared for, and appreciated than you ever have been. And although you’re pleasing me I care about your sexual, physical and emotional satisfaction as well. We are in this together. I know I’m your protector, your teacher and your Daddy but I’m also your lover, friend, and have will always respect you for you are outside of our D/s relationship. Just allow yourself to be open with me..."

Abuse? An abuser has little regard or remorse for their victim's condition. Abuse is never safe, sane, consensual or healthy in a relationship. The abuser doesn't want to be mentally, physically, or verbally abused, and does not have a safe word that can halt the abuse at anytime.

I'm not abused. Nor do I wish to be.

Peace&loce.